I married up.
I know that’s a somewhat silly thing to say. The whole idea behind a class structure of individuals judged by vague parameters is, well, nonsense. Still, I cannot help but have the thought when I consider my wife, Victoria, I married up.
Why? If you knew us both well, you’d understand. Allow me to explain.
She’s brilliant, in every sense of the word. After nearly eleven years, I am still often baffled by her intelligence, wit, integrity, and humanity. It’s long past due that I write this down somewhere.
Victoria is a rarity.
Her ambition and fortitude. Her compassion and understanding. Her ability to process information quickly and accurately. She’s genuine, both in her actions and within herself. She works hard. She knows how to properly relax. She’s funny. She’s an incredible mother. Her style. Her thoughtfulness. Her insight. Her softness. Her love.
Ever meet someone that can be impulsive, but when they act, it’s like the impulse was planned, vetted and peer-reviewed? That’s Victoria. She just pulls it off.
When most of us break under strain, stumble over obstacles, or are nursing our wounds – she’s coming out the other end already, showing us how it’s done. Her ability to fly through the NYT crossword every day is past the point of intimidating – it’s getting scary. The way she can research a subject is staggering, bolstered by how quickly she can skim, judge relevance, and make connections, means she’s usually three steps ahead.
Then you get to her personality, and I start to wonder if she really was designed for me. She is the most tangible proof there may be a god, some deity out there scrambling DNA, tossing in different bits and thinking, Joe’s going to like this one. Her mix of eccentricities, passions, behaviors, and thoughts serve to present the most fascinating individual I have ever had the pleasure of truly knowing. I keep wanting more, and cannot get enough.
Victoria’s intellect and sheer brain power extend into her capacity for compassion and love. She’s a quiet storm, a silent tornado of emotion and feeling. She may not let you see it, but it’s there in her eyes. It’s real. It’s ever-present. It’s powerful. It gives her an ability to care and love so strongly it threatens the fabric of space and time.
And I’m the one that got to marry her. Me. She chose me.
When she speaks, her energy ripples through me. When she holds me with her stunning, color-shifting eyes, I feel like I am being fully seen. When she smiles at me, the entire universe seems to brighten. When she laughs, I feel joy and a tingling in my spine only she can induce. When she walks into the room, my breathing regulates, my heart slows, and my anxiety quiets. When she touches me, well… Let’s keep this PG.
Victoria elevates me. Challenges me. Influences me. Over the years, her presence has aided in turning me into someone worthy of being a father to her children. She introduced me to the realms of responsibility, adulthood, and sustained, visceral joy. She gave me the “why” for my drive to be better and focused it. She has stood by me, even when it was excruciatingly difficult. She’s loved me, with all of herself.
I love you, Victoria. It’s a love as omnipresent and ever-expanding as the universe itself. I am, well and truly, yours.
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